we survived the End of Days

I know at this point, a lot of people are making fun of that guy who claimed we were all going to hell in a hand basket or better yet, to heaven while the evil folk would be left on Earth to suffer for their sins or something like that.  I figure that I just shouldn't worry too much about shit like this because when it's your time, it's your time.  I had a discussion with my brother Shaun about this a little bit before the media started reporting on it b/c there was this video out there on youtube or something that showed how people were going to just disappear and those left on Earth were not the chosen few, etc.  It really ticked me off and it kinda scared me too.  I guess what scares me is that whole 'it's not in my control' kind of thing.  I'm a person who likes to be in control..hence the fear of flying, my need to drive all the time (I make a real bad passenger), etc.  But, I seem to be feeling a bit better about the whole thing.  I seem to feel like I've reached a 'peace' about it all.  Facing death..my husbands death, in particular is sobering to say the least but it also kinda has me feeling like I'm sitting/standing up straighter figuratively if you will.  Over the years I think I've gotten a little bit timid; having Andy handle a lot of things where I most certainly could have done them myself..I don't mean chores, more like handling problems or dealing with other people.  And now, with Andy being in the hospital for a month or more and then home for several months where he won't be able to leave the house much and/or deal with problems...I definitely have to start gearing myself up mentally to deal.  I was a single parent for more than 8 years dealing with issues left and right.  My oldest daughter, Jenny, is a emotional and physical whirlwind..still is to this day (over 22 years later)..I had to deal with her illnesses and then once in school, her significant learning disabilities and eventual stubbornness about going to school.  Going to work and not making a lot of money for the both of us to live on, etc.  I don't have now and I didn't then, have a huge amount of family or friend support.  I have to rely on myself to make sure things get done.  So.  There it is.  The whole scope of it is; I have to rely on myself while Andy needs to pull back from his day to day responsibilities and focus on surviving this illness and its treatment and any complications in relation to it.  I'm gearing up and slowly changing my way of thinking and doing.  I have to get used to being stronger in the face of all this.  I'm blessed in a way...I get to prepare.  Not everyone does.